Oh so confused

So Romeo is officialy gone. I don't know what to do. I'm just really upset about the whole stupid thing, i dont like working with anyone eles really.

There's this other guy let's call him fluffy, he really likes me and we went out last year but he turned into a jerk for like 2 months after we broke up, just because i still liked him. He even went so far as to ask another girl out right infront of me just to get me off his back.
We did make up and we're really close again now. Well we were talking the other night and he made it pretty obvious that he's going to ask me out again. And i never assume anything but i'm diffently assuming he's going to ask me out, like it was just that clear.

I still like him I guess, I mean he was the first boy I was ever in love with. I'm scared that it will be like last time. and that's not at all what I want. I'm seriously confused.

Then the super shallow side of me really wants a boyfriend for valentines and my birthday, both of which are comming up very soon. But i think i would feel bad if i used him like that.

Goodness I'm confused!

On a better note, you need to see the uninvited! it's such a good movie!!! =]] you will think it's just another predictable horror movie untill like the last 15 minutes or so. =] just... go see it! haha

Random Quote of the Day: "it's only a crime if i get caught" -- The Cab

I'm hoping

We have a meeting saturday, for new uniforms and stuff, and then i have to work for 5 freaking hours! =p and the person i'm working with doesn't really talk...
I'm kinda hoping that maybe his parents just overreacted, maybe he'll come back. because i know from all the people i've met who used to work at the BR i do that our boss will diffinately let him back, like i worked with one guy who technically didn't work their anymore but he was just covering some one's shift.
so maybe he'll come back
maybe he'll be at the meeting saturday...

maybe i really shouldn't be getting my hopes up.

Random Quote of the Day: "that was me attempting to be funny" -- Josh

in response

to the question i got in the comments from the last post, from shu, yeah i have his number and we're friends on facebook, but he's also grounded from everything. . . and we were just getting close like we never talked except for work because at the time i didn't have my phone, but i just found my phone 5 days ago and was all excited because i could give him my number and we could maybe talk and hang out, outside of work, but now i doubt that's going to happen.

i'm hoping he'll come by during my shift saturday because i think he owes me a goodbye atleast, plus i wrote him this note with all out inside jokes in it and i want to give it to him, i also think he'll want to see me again ... hopefully... and i am praying to get the full story soon

Random Quote of The Day: Breesays: Manwhore
Jack Barakat: My mom (during a word asociation part of an interview =] i love jack form all time low! )

not in the mood

Romeo quit... i'm pissed...his parents made him... i don't have the whole story,


I already had our song picked out and everything!
wow this sucks epically

is that even how you spell that?

i don't really even care

Random Quote of the day:" Bounce Bounce Baby Bounce back to me" -- Bounce by the Cab... no this isn't the song i was talking about above, so it is infact random.

Just a Thought

Im very much pro life. But I also don't judge people who have or support abortions. but I was thinking about the term Pro Choice. People who think women should have the choice of weather they want the abortion because after all it is "their body" well I was thinking about that term and started about thinking other things people do to their bodies, Self harming, eating disorders, ect. don't these people also deserve to make that choice for themselves. I'm sure somewhere these two things have crossed paths before, maybe a mother who had an abortion as a teenager but who now is older, married with a teenage daughter. that daughter is suffering with some eating disorder. So the mother wanting what's best for her child sends her to a rehab center of some sort. Not letting her daughter make the choice of what she wanted to do with her body. Now i do not know any one in this situation but it just seems very likely to me. I really don't mean to offend anyone. and I'm in no way saying that i'm for self harming or eating disorders or any other forms of self mutilation. It was just a thought that poped into my head, and i figured that i'd share it, for people to disagree or for people to agree. Also to get people thinking because this topic should never quit being thought about, it's just too important, or it's important to me.

Our Bible teacher was reading to us about diffrent forms of abortion and about when in the pregancy they can take place, like what month. I'm not sure if it's still legle the book he was reading from was a tad dated. but there was one kind where it could be done at 5 months, now i know a little baby, who was born at 5 months, she's perfectly healthy now. She's precious and it just blows my mind to think that the week before she was born she could have been killed and it have been perfectly legal, but the next week, after she was born, it would have been considered murder. or even closer, becuase i do know a weeks difference can mean a lot in a pregnancy, what about the minute before her mom went into labor she had been aborted? it wouldn't have been thought of as murder, but the second she was born, if some one had killed her, it would have been on the news.

It's just doesn't make sense to me.

Random Quote of the Day: "Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers, Hit the Lights, Hit the Lights, Hit the Lights! That's Jenni in a nut shell" -- Kyle

101 Dalmations!

idk it just seemed like a good title for my 101st post.
I just had this huge debate in my head about weather it was 101th or 101st. wow. can you say BLONDE?? haha
so we got to watch tv the whole day at school, and yeah you know what we were watching lol.
Personally i don't really care about politics that much. I like lots of people thought it was funny when Obama messed up while he was sworn in. But i can give him a break cuz i know i would have like passed out, i would have been so scared. lol
My friend logan was there. =] he was super excited. he had to leave his hotel at 3:45 this morning to get there and through security and all that junk. which is just a random fact for you to know =]

ooo there's this kid that keeps calling me a bitch at school. I'm going to try to get him to call me it again (without actually being one) so i can get Romeo to beat him up. =] because he told me he would if he ever did it again. is that bad??? becuase this kid has it comming and is nothing but mean to everyone.
maybe it is bad.
maybe i shouldn't
but i'm still going to.
let me know your thoughts on this.
=]

Random Quote of the day: "you talk like your famous, your shameless" -- Shameless by All time Low

100th post! yay!

So this is my 100th post! yay!! too bad it's going to be depressing, i wrote this down the other night before i went to bed. =p sry if this depresses/makes someone cry/ or just makes your day bad. but this is my blog and i feel i needed to put this on here, because it's my personal blog first, then it's your ... entertainment's not the right word but it will have to do.

Stubborn
What is the longest you've ever stuck with something that was impossible.
Not something that just seemed impossible, but something that in the history of man kind has never happened.
For me it was 20 months this past saturday.
I'm very stubborn. Even though I know the prayer that i'm praying will never be answered i still pray it. I cry the same tears of frustration much too often. I'm not crazy. Oart of me knows my dad's not comming back.
Part of me remembers the chaos that came on that seemingly normal may day.
It remembers the funeral. the tears, the cold hand that belonged to the man lying in a box who so much resembled my daddy, but who in so many other ways was not my dad at all.
But the other part blocks it out. It remembers only the good and refuses to register the bad.
It somehow belives he's still here. It's why some mornings i wake up and still think he's alive. Because of this part. I have called his cell phone number only to hear a recording reminding me he's never going to pick up that phone again.
I'm not in total enial, i know he's gone, but i think that maybe if i go to God one more timein tears, with a heart only full of musery, maybe he'll give me back my daddy.
Everyone eles in my family seems to be "at peace" with my daddy's death. But I can't be, I'm the stubborn one.

Like i said sorry for this depressing thing. =[
but i had a pretty awesome rest of the weekend. and it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day! so have a party! reflect with friends. Enjoy this amazing holiday and being out of school =]
and of course it would snow on the day we don't have school =p
I wanna snow day so badly!

Random Quote of the day: "We can both suck at it together" -- Jake

sickk

so i'm home alone sick today. =[ there's not much to do.
I'm going to write notes to all my friends, and decorate them to make them all look pretty. =]
I already made lunch, fried talapia filets! =] yumm
i'm also watching stand up comedy on comedy central... i wish dane cook would come on. I love him!
he's hott and funny =]
right now i'm watching jeremy hotz, he's really good, but he keeps talking like he's trying not to laugh at his own jokes, and it's really annoying, almost to the point where i want to turn the channel but then i remember that there's nothing eles on. oh well.
now he's talking about the diffrent types of pads, and apparently he got some free in the mail, and hes using them for coffee filters, it's really funny. =]
oh well now he's gone, who knows will come on next.
i'm going to cross my fingers for dane cook, or demetri martin! =]

Random Quote of the Day: "Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty." -- Ellen Glasgow

Doggie

So my precious pup is sitting beside me. gosh i love that dog, she is so good, she doesn't bark alot and is never bothersome. She's spoiled rotten though, last week our heat was out and if i put the space heater near her i thought it would burn her so i got a heating pad and put it on the lowest setting (which is still quite warm) and wrapped it in a blanket and set her on top of it. While most people wouldn't even think of their dogs getting cold, and she probably wasn't too terribly cold.

I'm getting a little sickish which i hope doesn't last long. I would not want to miss my theater class tomorrow morning, i truly missed that class over winter break. It was good to have it again. =] I just have a sniffly nose and a sore throat from drainage. gosh i hate this junk.

Currently listening to The Maine's Cd, Can't Stop, Won't Stop. It's pretty much awesomeness. =] Sometimes you just need songs that are happy and good. Because i'll be the first one to admit a lot of my music is emo and sad. but that's just because i throughly agree with Charles Schulz on the fact that there is such a thing a Good Grief. For thoes of you who don't know who Charles Schulz is he made Peanuts, like Charlie Brown and Snoopy =] if you don't know who charlie brown is please google it! you are missing out.

Random Quote of the day: "your uncle would probably shoot him" -- aunt daree talking about romeo haha =]

VAN!!!

does any one ever watch Reba?? you know reba Macentire's (i know that's spelled wrong) tv show??? well van is this character on there and he's soooo funny, and i give the actor who i don't really know, all the credit, he's pretty awesome! and has made me laugh tears before. Well he's in the new movie Bridewars! =] yay!!! i'm so excited! i can't wait to see it! =] right now i'm watching grey's anatomy it's so addictive. i've been watching it for more then 2 years and quite frankly i'm just glad izzie's dead, really attractive fiance is back =] he's back probably because she's crazy, because this show really isn't sci fi or anything paranormal, but i'm okay with that.

First day back to school since break has been good. i really like my new classes, creative writing and computers, both have really good teachers and have been pretty enjoyable. I also have a new algebra teacher, she was on maternity leave for the first semester. She's really sweet, and i think she'll be a good teacher. I'm working with nick tomorrow, he never talks. So i'm gonna take a book with me because seriously no one wants ice cream in January.

Random Quote of the Day: Me: "do you like big pickles?"
Suzie: "yes"
Me: "That's what she said"

Happy, Finally

So the Concert was amazing! Jordan Sparks was there, Martina Mcbride, Vince Gill, Michale W. Smith, and Stephen Curtis Chapman. it was soooo amazing!!! but anyways, I dumped tanner, i just am ready for a relationship with out drama. Romeo said the date was good but he still likes his ex and now he feels bad for leading the other girl on. But i told him not to worry about it and to just make sure he doesn't do anything eles to lead her on. He gave me a ride home the other night it was very exciting =] I was really happy and he's a good driver =]

Speaking of Driving i'm signing up for driving school =] It will take 4 saturdays =p but i won't have to go to the testing place and take my license test, i'll be able to test at the school, and since i will have had 6 hours of driving time with them, i won't have to take the driving portion of the test. so yay!! it's all very exciting!

Today is my last day of break. =[ I'm so sad. I slept will 11:30 today, there's no way i'm going to be able to get up at 5 tomorrow. Also tomorrow is our off campus thing for our church. Where we go to our coaches (teachers) house, i always love these nights! we have sooo much fun! and I'll get to see some of my friends i haven't seen in a while. Oh I totally forgot that tomorrow we have theater arts!!! ahhh!!! that's exciting!! wow, i miss thoes guys! I seriously hope we have a day of improv. because monolougues are getting very boring very fast. I want to do duet acting at least! Oh and i'm in the Chorus for Oklahoma! which will be fun, I could have tried out for a more major role, but i don't do so well in musicals and thought this one would just be fun to kinda sit back and watch. =]

Random Quote of the day: "Now i smell like a girl!" -- Nick

oh just great.

So my stupid dog woke me up way too early. I'm worried about tonight. I'm not sure if i trust myself enough to tell Romeo about Tanner, cuz well because Tanner has been being a jerk and i want to get that off my mind tonight, I dont want to be asked a bunch of questions tonight about our very new relationship. I'm one of thoes people who could know someone a month and then put them on my myspace top friends. Actually a good number of people i consider my best friends are from my new school and i've only known them since august. Sure it's awkward when they don't know things like your dad dying, and in Romeo's case we were talking about something i dissagreed with my mom about and he asked me "what does your dad think about it" It was pretty awkward but he just moved on and started another topic like a pro. He made me laugh maybe 5 minutes after that whole awkwardness thing. He said "i'm sorry" and moved on like people should.

oh and his stupid date with that other girl went well, i went in to put in a schedual request and he was there, It was aweful! i was almost positive some one eles would be working, girls preferably, cuz he wasn't schedualed to work that day, I had no makeup on and i just looked a mess. It was horrible! But he said he would tell me more about it saturday and of course it was just a date they aren't dating. I'm going to see if he does nothing but talk about her tonight, if he does, I tell him about Tanner, If he doesn't I flirt like there's no tomorrow, and do nothing eles, and then break up with tanner on monday, cuz i'm not seeing him Sunday and i'm not doing it over the phone. That's just something that's always bothered me.

Oh on a last note people who keep leaving frowny faces about the Jonas Brothers, yeah i understand I mostly like them becuase of 2 songs off their new album, Can't Have you, cuz i just love it, and then A Little Bit Longer, because it basically saved my life this summer (I do not want to go into details) and yes because they are beautiful! =] haha but I also like good music, ZZ top, Queen, Tom Petty, Lynard Skynard, All Time Low, Panic At the Disco, Hit the Lights, ect. ect. I actually pretty much like everything, and why yes I understand your distaste for the Jonas Brothers I like them. So leave me a band that you like's name and i will listen to them. =]

Random Quote of the day: "We'll See" -- mom, -- that's what she said when i asked her about going to warped tour 09, I really wanna go!

what to do

I can't just stop my life for tanner. He really likes me it's obvious, and i as much as i didn't think it was possible really like him. I don't even really like Romeo that much anymore. I'm completely happy with tanner, or i was. I'm going to a Jonas Brothers Concert Sunday, which was our weekaversary thing, and i think it's cute that he wanted to do sumthin for our week, but i paid $150 for these tickets and this was before we were going out. So yeah i'm still going and it's one of thoes things that's going to last all day pretty much, with getting ready, getting there early and then lasting till late that night. and then I am working saturday so that's not going to work eaither, and he's mad cuz i'm working with Romeo, like i have control over that?? I told him to come get some ice cream and come visit. That i could take a break and hang out with him, but he wont do it cuz he's mad. It's really ticking me off and yeah i do like him but i diffently don't need him. if i break up with him it's going to be a stupid pointless one week thing and i hate super short relationships. i normally go out with some one for atleast a month. but i don't know if i can take this much longer. =/

Random Quote of the Day: " They say the first time won't ever last but that didn't stop me the first time he laughed all my friends tried to warn me the day that we met girl don't you lose your heart yet." -- Sugarland -- Already Gone