ugh Change...

I really didn't know how eles to title this, because i dislike change very very much. Last spring I went through a huge change, and had it not been for this change I would still be pretty open to change like i used to be. But this change was so big and so unavoidable that I had to change, I as a person had to change. Most people know that my Dad died. did they also know that I was such a social outkast when this happened that My dad was my best friend? Most people didn't and don't to this day.
Before my life took this tragic turn I had wondered about the people you see on the news, families of teens who died all too soon in a car wreck, or the families of people who had been murdered or kidnapped, I noticed that they always say, not a day goes by that I don't think about them.
now I always thought, if something like that happened to me i would forget to rember them one day. There would be a day that was busy that I would just forget. Not that I wouldn't love them, or not that the families didn't love the people they had lost. It's just that we're all human.
A few weeks ago I was watching Tv and thoes all too common times come up where a little girl had gone missing so many years ago and it was the anniversary so the news would do a little storry on the remmemberance ceremoney or what ever they were doing to honor the specific person, and they said the same sentence, "not a day goes by that I don't think about her" and I thought to myself, I havent gone one day without thinking about my dad, not one. Because a certain song will come on the radio that he liked, I'll fold his shirt because nick or my mom wore it, I'll walk past the very spot he died on, or I'll think to myself, Dad would've loved this song.
getting back to my main point I have changed, I've reached out to the people who were ready to be there when i needed them. Let one of my dad's old friends take me to a horror movie because you have to be over 17 and mom was too scared to take me. I've talked to my uncle about my music and the concerts I've been too this summer. I've gone shopping with my dad's friend's mom, who is now like a 3rd grandmother to me. I've changed alot and I guess it all turned out mostly for the good. I mean I still have my dad and i'd probably trade these relationships I've made with people in a heartbeat to have my dad back, but I can't do that so i guess it's mostly good. but the process. the ache my heart had and still has sometimes when he's not there. The time where I drew back and refuse to reach out. The time where I just wanted to sulk and for life to just leave me alone for a bit. I'm still not over it. and I guess it might have been worth it but I just don't like change and I never will. Simple as that.

Random Quote of the Day: "She's sure to leave you broke and bleeding because she's all about trying to figure out the break down..." -- Drop the Girl- Hit the Lights (I swear I'll get the quotes by Hit the Lights out of my system soon! I just love them soooooooo much !!! ) =]